


Envy

by corvidry



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Jealousy, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25580770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvidry/pseuds/corvidry
Summary: “Your purpose is to make her happy.”And she was, of course. By doing exactly what was expected of her, Pearl was making her Diamond happy.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Envy

**Author's Note:**

> One sided Pearl/Rose if you squint but honestly this takes place before any of them were thinking concretely in those terms.

Laughter echoed through the towering corridor, reverberating up and down the walls. Erratic. Like the sound of hurried footsteps. Like the racing of distracted thoughts.

Pearl stood still as always, paying perhaps less attention than she ought to have been. Though her eyes remained straight ahead, Pearl could see them in her periphery. They laughed and pushed each other, the rubbery sound of a makeshift toy pattering over the floor. Pearl stiffened imperceptibly. The ghost of a frown crossed her features.

_“Your purpose is to make her happy.”_

And she was, of course. By doing exactly what was expected of her, Pearl was making her Diamond happy…

Right?

The toy, some kind of ball it looked like, came hurling past. It narrowly missed Pearl’s head before bouncing off the wall of the corridor and back again. The pale gem didn’t flinch. She knew better than to move. Instead she continued to gaze straight ahead as Her Diamond came to rest just in front of her.

“Be careful, Spinel!" Her Diamond's voice took on an immediate authoritative tone. "Don’t break my Pearl, okay?”

Spinel skidded to a stop, her body flopping forward as she listened with wide eyes. She gave a grave nod before visibly settling herself. That seemed to be enough to resolve things, as Pink Diamond eased her posture. Things like this seemed to worry Pink Diamond, Pearl noted, but beyond the minor threat of reprimand, she could hardly place why. Still, rules were rules.

Pearls were not for playing. This fact, they all knew well. Spinel in particular had been a response to that notion, and Pearl could recall multiple occasions wherein another Diamond implied some form of precedent for their arrangement. Sure, Pearl had noticed that she was a different color than her dock. She’d appreciated how unsaturated she must look next to her peers. She even noticed that her gem was not in the correct place, but that didn’t mean anything, right? So what if several doors in the building had to be adjusted for her? So what if she seemed shaped slightly wrong for some of her stations? So what if she knew next to nothing about herself despite the other Pearls seeming to know quite a lot about her? Pearl, for what she could manage, tried not to think of these things too critically. It wasn’t for lack of interest, but it was hard to ignore the facts of the matter. In this court pearls were not to be played with. No point in wondering on it. Certainly nobody had ever asked her to _think._

And besides, it was just objectively better this way. Spinel was designed to be durable and flexible. Spinel was designed to be fun. Even the corridors surrounding The Garden where the three of them now stood had exceedingly sturdy walls. The fact that she was brought along was probably an accident, if Pearl were to speculate. Pearls weren’t fun. They weren't spontaneous or flexible. If she had to be here, this was the appropriate solution. She was making her Diamond happy. _She was._

Returning her attention to the other two, Pearl could see Spinel begin to gloat, tumbling over herself to stretch toward the ball that had gotten away from them. Pink Diamond seemed to delight in this, returning to her usual ease and following close behind with a giggle. All was right. All was well. Her Diamond was happy.

_…So why aren’t I?_

Pearl gasped imperceptibly. The traitorous thought struck her like lightning and she stifled a start, forcing her body still. Forcing the thought away. It left her easily enough, but not without consequence. Every thought she could find to replace it was just as wrong.

_I was told my purpose was to make her happy…_

Pearl began to shiver somewhat, pressing her back to the wall of the corridor.

_…so why is **she** always the one who gets to–_

**_THWAP_ **

Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar rubbery sound. The ball had landed loudly before coming to a roll. Nearby raucous gems rounded on it to follow back toward Pearl’s end of the corridor. The ball was well ahead of them, rolling predictably. So close. Her thoughts only grew more traitorous.

She could touch it…if she wanted.

Or rather, she absolutely could not do that. But still, if she moved her foot just an inch to the left. If she shifted just the tiniest bit…

Pearl gulped, suddenly fearful, suddenly overcome by the terrifying notion that to do this might be **fun.** Maybe it would even…make her feel _happy?_

Carefully Pearl leaned to the side, her foot sliding slowly over so that it might be in the way of the ball’s path. It rolled nearer and nearer. Her eyes widened.

If this were a fantasy, the ball would tap her foot. Shyly she would push it back toward her Diamond, who would smile encouragingly until soon Pearl, too, would be running and playing. That would be the moment that changed everything. Then she would be the fun one. Then she would be the one to make her Diamond oh, so happy. The way that she was meant to. And then she would be invited to play all the time, and maybe, just maybe, she herself would be happy, too.

But reality pulled no punches crashing down around her. Nobody had told her to move. Certainly nobody had told her to **_imagine_** anything.

Spinel’s long arm stretched toward the approaching ball, stopping it mere inches from Pearl’s perfectly placed foot. With an eager sound, she sprung back in the other direction, hurling the ball back down the corridor, taking herself and her Diamond with it. She couldn’t believe it. Her Diamond hadn’t even paid enough mind to want to punish her.

Inwardly, Pearl felt herself begin to crumple.

Laughter echoed through the towering corridor, reverberating up and down the walls. Erratic. Like the sound of hurried footsteps. Like the racing of disloyal thoughts.

Pearl stood still as always, paying perhaps more attention than she ought to have been. Though her eyes remained straight ahead, Pearl could see them in her imagination. They laughed and pushed each other, the rubbery sound of a makeshift ball pattering over the floor. Pearl sniffled imperceptibly. The ghost of a sob racked her frame.

_“Your purpose is to make her happy.”_

And she was, of course. By doing _exactly what was expected of her,_ Pearl was making her Diamond happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Another repub of old work. This one's from September 2019 in response to the prompt "envy" ft. everyone's favorite Problem Pearl and the new rubber hose gem she's feeling replaced by. I'm trying to get back into writing so I can publish more updated work, so feel free to come bug me here or on other platforms if you have prompts or suggestions.


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